Can you cry underwater?

       How important does a person have to be before they are considered  assassinated instead of just murdered?

       Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going to?

       Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

       Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

       What disease did cured ham actually have?

       How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

       Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every, two hours?

       If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

       Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

       Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

       Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway.

       Why is it wrong for a girl to go out in bra and underwear, but OK to go out in a bikini?

       Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

       If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

       Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

       If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

       Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

       If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

       If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

       If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

       Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

       Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

       How can something be new and improved if it is new?

       Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, they get mad at you, but when you take them for a car ride, they stick their head out the window?

   Is a person in a motorized wheelchair allowed to go through the drive through?

   Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

        Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

        Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

        Only in America .......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

        Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

        Only in America .......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

        Only in America .......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

        EVER WONDER…Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

        Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

        Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

        Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

        Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

        Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

        Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

        Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

        Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

        Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

        Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

        You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

        Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

        Why are they called APARTments when they are all stuck together?

        If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

        If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

   How much do the Transformers have to pay for their gas bill O.o?


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